MYTH: IF A WOMAN DOESN'T LIKE IT, SHE CAN LEAVE. "ITS EASY FOR A BATTERED WOMAN TO LEAVE HER PARTNER."
TRUTH: Women can not always leave. Some reasons include fear, lack of money, lack of information, because of the children and thinking he will change. Women who leave their batterers are at a 75% greater risk of being killed by the batterer than those who stay.
MYTH: BATTERING IS ONLY A MOMENTARY LOSS OF TEMPER.
TRUTH: Battering is the establishment of control and fear in a relationship through violence and other forms of abuse. The batterer uses acts of violence and a series of behaviors, threats, psychological abuse and isolation to coerce and control the other person. The violence may not happen often, but it remains as a hidden and constant terrorizing factor.
MYTH: MEN AND WOMEN BATTER EACHOTHER EQUALLY--"MUTUAL COMBAT."
TRUTH: Battering enables one person to keep control of another through violence or threats of violence. A woman may strike her husband or hit back in self defense, but in the vast majority of the cases (95%), men are the 'batterers.'
MYTH: BATTERING ONLY OCCURS IN LOW INCOME FAMILES AND COMMUNITIES OF COLOR.
TRUTH: Perpetrator's of domestic violence can be found in all age, racial, ethnic, cultural, socioeconomic, linguistic, educational, occupational and religious groups. Researchers and service providers have found that economic and social factors may have a significant impact on what type of help they seek. Affluent people can afford to seek private help--Dr.'s, Attorney's and counselors. People with fewer financial resources (low income) tend to call the police or other public agencies. These agencies are often the only available source of stats on domestic violence. Consequently, low income people and communities of color tend to be over-represented in those figures, thereby creating a distorted image of who suffers from and who perpetrates the problem.
MYTH: ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION/DRUG ABUSE ARE THE REAL CAUSES OF VIOLENCE
TRUTH: Alcohol/drug abuse is not a reason for perpetrating domestic violence. However, they are linked to an increase in the lethality of the violence. They are often used to offer the batterer another excuse to evade responsibility for his behavior. A batterer can control his actions, even when drunk or high, by choosing a time and place for the abuse to take place and go undetected. In addition, successful completion of a C/D or drug treatment program does not guarantee an end to the battering. Domestic violence and substance abuse are two different problems that should be treated equally.
MYTH: WOMEN ARE ONLY BEATEN WHEN THEY "ASK FOR IT." AKA THE MYTH OF "PROVOCATION."
TRUTH: Provocation, real or imagined is still no excuse for the abuse. Everyone gets angry or feels violent toward a family member, but there is no excuse for using punches, kicks, strangulation and threats of death with weapons in trying to settle an argument. Women do not want to be abused. Batterers will often say, "she made me do it" because she may have violated an "infraction" of the constantly changing rules.
MYTH: VIOLENT MEN COME FROM VIOLENT HOMES AND ARE VIOLENT IN ALL THEIR RELATIONSHIPS.
TRUTH: Most men who batter are violent only at home. They are friendly and polite in public. At home they fear fewer consequences and "dump" their anger into violence. Abusive behavior is learned. But, not all abusers come from violent homes. Boys are often trained to be rough and controlling. There is evidence that aggression is learned from role models. However, there is little proof that people have an "instinct" for violent behavior.
